Fine, so KC is officially back into my good graces. He's finally making some good, meaningful tunes again. Thank God, cause he (in my opinion) was wasting his talent on redundant songs about Mexico there for awhile. Welcome back Kenny. This song and "Somewhere with You" are worthy of my current soundtrack... He's definitely still got it.
Tuesday, May 31, 2011
Tell em' Anything You Want To
Let's face it, I'm addicted to the therapy of writing and listening to music.
It's official, I'm applying for jobs in Illinois, Tennessee, Kentucky, Vermont and Virginia. We'll see what jumps off... if anything. I've heard that Nevada and Georgia are decent possiblities... but... I'm more into the beauty of the lush landscape and little towns with lots of personality. I just dunno. I think it would be nice to just up and leave and move to another state. Life around here is just getting entirely too stressful. (It always has been.)
I wanted to teach overseas but I just don't have the funds to do it. Maybe one day though...
It's official, I'm applying for jobs in Illinois, Tennessee, Kentucky, Vermont and Virginia. We'll see what jumps off... if anything. I've heard that Nevada and Georgia are decent possiblities... but... I'm more into the beauty of the lush landscape and little towns with lots of personality. I just dunno. I think it would be nice to just up and leave and move to another state. Life around here is just getting entirely too stressful. (It always has been.)
I wanted to teach overseas but I just don't have the funds to do it. Maybe one day though...
Monday, May 30, 2011
All Gave Some
People know him for Achy Breaky but BRC is way more than that. This should really be the song he is remembered for. He wrote it when he met a veteran in 1991 and his first album was named "Some Gave All" for a reason. I could go on and on about it... but I won't.
Happy Memorial Day
The End
301.What are the top three qualities you look for in a friend?
Honesty, Humor, Loyalty
302.What simple gesture have you recently witnessed that renewed your hope in humanity?
A friend of mine said they’d happily pick me over their job and they meant it
303.What is your favorite smell?
Men’s cologne!!
304.What recent memory makes you smile the most?
My niece telling me I was beautiful…. And then saying my hair looks silly and to fix it. She’s so awesome!
305.In one word, how would you describe your childhood?
Happy.
306.What celebrities do you admire? Why?
I mostly admire any good lyricists because I’m into poetry.
307.What is the number one motivator in your life right now?
A desire to be happy.
308.What music do you listen to to lift your spirits when you’re feeling down?
It depends on why I’m down. Usually I listen to music that expresses right where I’m at… but I do turn to Tom Petty and Fleetwood Mac a lot.
309.If I gave you $1000 and told you that you had to spend it today, what would you buy?
I can’t believe I’m saying this, but could I save it? If not I would pay off a portion of my loan. Now, if neither of those count, I’d take a trip. I love to travel =]
310.What was the last thing that made you laugh out loud?
A resident at work.
311.What is your biggest pet peeve?
People who don’t use turn signals.
312.Who was the last person you said “I love you” to?
My grandparents.
313.What is your biggest phobia?
Snakes or Tornadoes. I guess my biggest phobia would be a tornado that throws a snake.
314.What are some recent compliments you’ve received?
I got called an “exceptional” and “wonderful” girl. I also hear that I have “killer” lips. lol
315.How many friends do you have in real life that you talk to regularly?
Oh, wow… define “regularly” lol. Once a week? 2 or 3 Every single day? 0
316.How much money per month is enough for you to live comfortably?
Ha. I’ll let you know when I find out ;)
317.When was your first impression of someone totally wrong?
It is generally right, I just trick myself into wishful thinking….
318.How many hours a week do you spend online?
Too many!! Probably 7 - 14
319.What do you love to do?
I also love to read, demo, scrapbook, play pool, and take bubble baths… among other things =]
320.What specific character trait do you want to be known for?
Passion.
321.Are you more like your mom or your dad? In what way?
It is kinda both. Overall, probably my mom because I have a big, generous heart and hold on tightly to what I love. (We share a sun sign, so I’m biased!) I’m also like my dad because I’m stubborn, loud, opinionated and fully dedicated to what I believe.
322.What is the number one quality that makes someone a good leader?
An open mind.
323.What bad habits do you want to break?
Smoking while drinking.
324.What is your favorite place on Earth?
My grandma’s house or London.
325.What do you love to practice?
Mind games like word and number puzzles. I’m petrified of losing my memory one day.
326.What questions do you often ask yourself?
“Who sings this song?” lol…. Honestly, I can’t think of one single thing I often ask myself.
327.What are you an expert at?
I can make picture slideshows super quick…. Er… that is kinda it.
328.How would an extra $1000 a month change your life?
I’d pay off my loans quicker. And maybe get a new car.
329.What things in life should always be free?
Free Love!!! haha
330.What is your favorite time of the year?
Fall.
331.What is something you have always wanted since you were a kid?
A family.
332.What is the most recent dream you remember having while sleeping?
It wasn’t appropriate to share. But before that I had one with cartoon snakes that bit some kid… idk.
333.What confuses you?
So cliché, but men! Actually all relationships with people confuse me. I don’t get cheating and I don’t get compulsive liars. I don’t get drunk drivers… I think I may be an alien.
334.In what way are you your own worst enemy?
In many ways! I’m not very nice to myself.
335.When did you not speak up when you should have?
I don’t speak up until things are too late. This is a trend in a lot of my relationships with other people.
336.What is your favorite quote?
I love quotes!!! I have tons. “It’s the environment that molds the mind” by John Locke is the first that popped into my mind but I have many, many, many more that I love.
337.What is your favorite fictional story? (novel, movie, fairytale, etc.)
Hm. Hardest question yet. I’m going to cheat and pick more than one.
-King Lear – Shakespeare
-Othello - Shakespeare
-Pride and Prejudice – Jane Austen
-Gone with the Wind – Margret Mitchell
-The Notebook – Nicholas Sparks
OH… My… Gosh. I’m THAT girl. Oooh no! I guess if I have to pick one I’m going with Austen. I never realized what a chick I am! Holy cow!
338.Where or who do you turn to when you need good advice?
Gramma of course!
339.What artistic medium do you use to express yourself?
Photography, poetry, drawing… and for a bit, I had a blog. lol
340.Who or what is the greatest enemy of mankind?
Mankind.
341.What’s something you wish you had done earlier in life?
Screwed up more.
342.What is the closest you have ever come to fearing for your life?
I drown once.
343.How do you deal with isolation and loneliness?
I cry. A lot. Sometimes I try to fill the void with other people… but usually I just have to cope on my own by rowing my own boat slowly to shore.
344.What do you know well enough to teach to others?
I know stuff! Hopefully I know plenty to teach others. (Not too strong at math)
345.What’s a quick decision you once made that changed your life?
College.
346.What have you lost interest in recently?
Fighting.
347.What makes life easier?
Having someone to share it with.
348.What was the last thing you furiously argued about with someone?
Love.. the details don’t’ matter. I lost. lol
349.What job would you never do no matter how much it paid?
Mortuary science.
350.What is the number one solution to healing the world?
There isn’t.
351.What could society do without?
Violent hate mongers? Yeah, that is a start.
352.What stresses you out?
I’m a dork, I get stressed about too many things. Mainly though, confrontation and lack of control drive me bananas.
353.Now that it’s behind you, what did you do last week that was memorable?
I held my own and gained respect for it.
354.Where do you spend most of your time while you’re awake?
Work or the gym. Otherwise, I’m just bouncing from place to place. (Unless it is a reading marathon or on the phone.. then I’m in my bed.)
355.What makes someone a hero?
Someone who is idolized by another person… not to be confused with envy.
356.When in your life have you been a victim of stereotyping?
Pffft. Definitely during college. I got pelted from both directions for being a non-trad.
357.When was the last time you felt lucky?
Haha… last week!
358.When did you first realize that life is short?
I had a very real fear of imminent death when I was young. One of my first memories is of me crying at the table because I was afraid I would die or my family would.
359.What is the most insensitive thing a person can do?
Uh, kill someone?? Cheating is pretty insensitive too.
360.What can someone do to grab your attention?
I’m pretty easily distracted…. Just a simple, hey! works on me.
361.What do you usually think about on your drive home from work?
How the day went.
362.What’s one downside of the modern day world?
People are so disconnected from each other. “Social Networking” is ruining networks of reality based society.
363.What simple fact do you wish more people understood?
We aren’t in this alone, so you need to consider others.
364.If you could do it all over again, would you change anything?
Just one thing.
365.How would you describe your future in three words?
Outta my hands. ;)
--I may delete this now. I'm undecided, as usual. So this is definitely the end of the questions. Probably the end of the blog as well. That is all. --
Friday, May 27, 2011
Cease Fire
Liberate your words,
I want to make love.
If it's a game we're playing
throw your deuces to the floor
and fold up the board.
Make love to me, I don't care.
I'm asking
you to abandon
all of the props that
make you seem obscure.
You can strip me
of the mask that you hate
so much.The one that says
"I'm the boss."
If you'll welcome the truce
and give me the permission
that I'm waiting for then
Well...
Sometimes, it's true, an
affinity for tension overrides
whatever tenderness I feel.
But I'm calling for a cease fire.
No weapons of verbs or adjectives-
I'm not even asking to hear
you whisper my name-
Just pack up your pride and
I'd bury my reservations.
I want to make love
to you.
I haven't really decided how I feel about this one. I'm pretty sure it is one of those that I'll scrap an make a new one from.
I want to make love.
If it's a game we're playing
throw your deuces to the floor
and fold up the board.
Make love to me, I don't care.
I'm asking
you to abandon
all of the props that
make you seem obscure.
You can strip me
of the mask that you hate
so much.The one that says
"I'm the boss."
If you'll welcome the truce
and give me the permission
that I'm waiting for then
Well...
Sometimes, it's true, an
affinity for tension overrides
whatever tenderness I feel.
But I'm calling for a cease fire.
No weapons of verbs or adjectives-
I'm not even asking to hear
you whisper my name-
Just pack up your pride and
I'd bury my reservations.
I want to make love
to you.
I haven't really decided how I feel about this one. I'm pretty sure it is one of those that I'll scrap an make a new one from.
If you want more love
Why don't you say so?
If you want more love
Why don't you say so?
Drop his name
Push it in and twist the knife again
Watch my face
As I pretend to feel no pain, pain, pain
Clouds of sulfur in the air
Bombs are falling everywhere
It's heartbreak warfare
Once you want it to begin
No one really ever wins
In heartbreak warfare
If you want more love
Why don't you say so?
If you want more love
Why don't you say so?
Just say so...
How come the only way to know how high you get me
Is to see how far I fall?
God only knows how much I'd love you if you'd let me
But I can't break through at all
It's a heart...
Heartbreak
I don't care if we don't sleep at all tonight
Let's just fix this whole thing now
I swear to God we're gonna get it right
If you lay your weapon down
Red wine and ambien
You're talking shit again
It's heartbreak warfare
Good to know it's all a game
Disappointment has a name
It's heartbreak
Why don't you say so?
If you want more love
Why don't you say so?
Drop his name
Push it in and twist the knife again
Watch my face
As I pretend to feel no pain, pain, pain
Clouds of sulfur in the air
Bombs are falling everywhere
It's heartbreak warfare
Once you want it to begin
No one really ever wins
In heartbreak warfare
If you want more love
Why don't you say so?
If you want more love
Why don't you say so?
Just say so...
How come the only way to know how high you get me
Is to see how far I fall?
God only knows how much I'd love you if you'd let me
But I can't break through at all
It's a heart...
Heartbreak
I don't care if we don't sleep at all tonight
Let's just fix this whole thing now
I swear to God we're gonna get it right
If you lay your weapon down
Red wine and ambien
You're talking shit again
It's heartbreak warfare
Good to know it's all a game
Disappointment has a name
It's heartbreak
How's that for the perfect accompanying song? Yay.
Wednesday, May 25, 2011
Stand By Me
251.What do you understand today about your life that you did not understand a year ago?
That I’m not the one in charge.
252.Whose life have you had the greatest impact on?
I don’t think I’ve really had an impact on anyone yet.
253.What did life teach you yesterday?
I don’t need anyone to lean on, but sometimes it is okay to reach out.
254.Who impresses you?
My grandma.
255.What have you done that you are not proud of?
Plenty of things. Mostly I’ve lost my temper and hurt people I love in the past.
256.When should you reveal a secret that you promised you wouldn’t reveal?
When it is yours to tell.
257.How would you spend your ideal day?
I’m lame. Fishing with a lover and then camping out would be my ideal day.
258.What is the one primary quality you look for in a significant other?
Whether or not I can be myself and laugh with the person is so essential.
259.What do you admire most about your mother and father?
They’ve never given up on one another, they’re the example of making a marriage work through the rough spots.
260.What is the best advice you have ever received?
“You can do this. And you will do this.”
261.If you could live forever, would you want to? Why?
What are the conditions?
262.If you had to be someone else for one day, who would you be and why?
A Buddhist monk.
263.What positive changes have you made in your life recently?
I’m much more positive than I was a year ago.
264.Who makes you feel good about yourself?
My grandma and my niece.
265.What is your biggest regret?
Wasted time.
266.Which one of your responsibilities do you wish you could get rid of?
STUDENT LOANS
267.What’s something you don’t like to do that you are still really good at?
I honestly can’t think of one.
268.What type of person angers you the most?
People who lie. People who don’t use their turn signals. And people who are too scared to do what is right.
269.What is missing in your life?
Someone to share it with.
270.What is your most striking physical attribute?
I dunno actually. I have perfect eyebrows. That is so lame, but it is true.
271.What has fear of failure stopped you from doing?
Many little things. I guess the biggest thing was that it stopped me from moving away for love.
272.Who would you like to please the most?
Right now, myself.
273.If you could go back in time and change things, what would you change about the week that just passed?
Nothing.
274.When you meet someone for the very first time what do you want them to think about you?
I guess I want them to like me. But, I’m not overly concerned with it.
275.Who would you like to forgive?
I guess my ex.
276.At what point during the last five years have you felt lost and alone?
Pffft…. Pretty much 70% of it has been like that.
277.What is one opportunity you believe you missed out on when you were younger?
I didn’t get to go to the zoo cause I had the chicken pox. That is about it.
278.What do you want more of in your life?
Love.
279.What do you want less of in your life?
Stress.
280.Who depends on you?
My family and my residents.
281.Who has had the greatest impact on your life?
My favorite professor.
282.Are you happy with where you are in your life? Why?
Yes and no. It isn’t bad but it could always be better.
283.In one year from today, how do you think your life will be different?
PLEASE! LET ME HAVE A JOB I LOVE!!!
284.How have you sabotaged yourself in the past five years?
I’ve underestimated myself and I haven’t put in 100% effort into my life.
285.Other than money, what else have you gained from your current job?
My best friend and an appreciation for myself as a caring and strong individual.
286.Whom do you secretly envy? Why?
Miranda Lambert. Have you seen Blake? And her life looks like a pretty good party.
287.In twenty years, what do you want to remember?
Only the good.
288.What are you most excited about in your life right now – today?
I’m just trying to stay positive. Things can always get better, and that is exciting.
289.What experience from this past year do you appreciate the most?
It was nice to be in love, I think that I will come to appreciate my last relationship…in time.
290.What is the most enjoyable thing your family has done together in the last three years?
Easter was a flippin’ blast. But I honestly love every minute with them. My graduation was the time of my life because of them.
291.How many hours of television do you watch in a week? A month? A year?
In a week… probably 1 -5. In a month… probably around 12. In a year…too many. I don’t watch a lot of television… but there are a few shows I will watch in a marathon type way.
292.What is the biggest obstacle that stands in your way right now?
I just need to be given a chance. And I can’t force anyone to give me one… so…
293.What do you sometimes pretend you understand that you really don’t?
People.
294.What do you like most about your job? What do you dislike most about your job?
The smiles on my residents’ faces. I severly dislike lying coworkers. Being called names and occasional sputrs of aggression aren’t the most fun I’ve ever had either.
295.What’s something new you recently learned about yourself?
I’m actually pretty good at being alone.
296.In one sentence, how would you describe your relationship with your mother?
In one word, amazing!
297.What was the most defining moment in your life during this past year?
Losing my best friend was a pretty big deal.
298.What’s the number one change you need to make in your life in the next twelve months?
I need to get on with it.
299.What makes you feel secure?
Sleeping in the arms of a man. Sleeping can be amazing.
300.What is your favorite sound?
I like the sound of muffled quiet when I’m submerged in water.
You have to have respect for Mrs. McGraw
And Mr. Hill, just for fun.
Tuesday, May 24, 2011
The Greatest of Teachers
won't hesitate
to leave you there
to leave you there
by yourself
chained to fate
171.Is the reward worth the risk?
Sometimes.
172.For you personally, what makes today worth living?
Family.
173.What have you done in the last year that makes you proud?
I’ve tried.
174.What did you learn recently that changed the way you live?
You can’t count on anyone.
175.What is your fondest memory from the past three years?
Chicago.
176.What are the primary components of a happy life?
Love and Peace
177.How would the world be different if you were never born?
Uhm…
178.What is your favorite song and why?
Gary Allan – Life ain’t always beautiful… cause it isn’t
179.With the resources you have right now, what can you do to bring yourself closer to your goal?
Keep trying
180.What are your top three priorities?
1. Career
2. Marriage
3. Kids
181.Why do we idolize sports players?
I dunno, I idolize anyone who has dedication to be the best in their field.
182.What is the nicest thing someone has ever done for you?
I think the nicest thing a person can do is be there when you need them… Different people have done this for me at different times.
183.What do you see when you look into the future?
I can’t see anything.
184.What makes you angry? Why?
Everything. Lol. Mostly, apathy or people with bad morals.
185.What is the most valuable life lesson you learned from your parents?
Not everyone thinks like me.
186.What does love feel like?
Today it feels like a broken heart. But love has so many forms.
187.What are your favorite simple pleasures?
A bubble bath and a book!
188.If you could go back in time and tell a younger version of yourself one thing, what would you tell?
Don’t settle.
189.What do you do to deliberately impress others?
I try to be witty… that’s the only thing I can think of.
190.What will you never do?
Cheat.
191.Excluding romantic relationships, who do you love?
My family and friends.
192.What is your earliest childhood memory?
My dad teaching me to tie my shoes or dancing in the dining room to brc.
193.What book has had the greatest influence on your life?
Oooo tough one. Maybe “The Yellow Wallpaper” or “The Bell Jar” It’s hard to say.
194.What three questions do you wish you knew the answers to?
I’m not answering this publicly.
195.What is the greatest peer pressure you’ve ever felt?
The pressure to let myself down.
196.What’s the biggest lie you once believed was true?
I believed that my friend’s step dad murdered someone for 16 years of my life! Total fabrication! lol
197.In your lifetime, what have you done that hurt someone else?
I’ve intentionally hurt people who I’ve felt wronged by. Sometimes justifiably, sometimes not. It has been a long time, but in the past I broke some hearts in anger.
198.What’s the best part of growing older?
Uh… lower car insurance??
199.What’s been on your mind most lately?
Getting over a certain someone and getting a damn job!
200.What do you think is worth waiting for?The afterlife. lol
201.What chances do you wish you had taken?
Sometimes I wish I had stayed in London and never came home.
202.Where else would you like to live? Why?
Ha, uh, London, actually. I love London.
203.What motivates you to go to work each day?
The desire to brighten my residents’ days
204.What do you wish you had done differently?
I wish I had more fun in college.
205.What is your greatest strength and your greatest weakness?
I’m loud and stubborn.
206.When was the last time you lied? What did you lie about?
I honestly can’t remember.
207.What made you smile this week?
Not too much…. Haha. Last night a friend cheered me up by joining me for some pool. Tonight another friend surprised me by waiting by my car when I got off work. It’s nice to feel wanted. =]
208.What do you do with the majority of your money?
Pay bills. (Especially my loans)
209.What motivates you to be your best?
Personal satisfaction.
210.When was the last time you lost your temper? About what?
Today. I felt attacked.
211.What will you never give up on?
People who need me.
212.When you look into the past, what do you miss the most?
I miss Joel.
213.How would you describe the past year of your life in one sentence?
A difficult transition and a time of growth.
214.What is the most spontaneous thing you’ve ever done?
I set out to drive across country one day just to spend a few hours with my boyfriend. I ended up crying in a Denny’s parking lot in Michigan instead. Uberspontaneous. lol
215.What makes you uncomfortable?
I’m not comfortable with my own self.
216.If you had to move 3000 miles away, what one thing would you miss the most?
My family
217.What worries you about the future?
That I might not have one.
218.What one ‘need’ and one ‘want’ will you strive to achieve in the next twelve months?
I need to make a change and I want it to be for the better.
219.What life lessons did you have to experience firsthand before you fully understood them?
Pretty much all of them.
220.Do you like the city or town you live in? Why or why not?
It is beautiful but I’m ready for a change.
221.What’s the best part of being you?
I get to be part of the best family ever.
222.When you look back over the past month, what single moment stands out?
I had the worst day ever this month. On the same day I had a friend tell me that they would literally take a bullet for me. It was seriously a pick-me-up.
223.What do you do to relieve stress?
Hahaha… bubble bath?
224.What is your happiest memory?
It hasn’t happened yet
225.What is your saddest memory?
Saying goodbye to Joel
226.What would you like to change?
My life.
227.How many people do you love?
I love tons of people. I can’t count them all.
228.What’s the best decision you’ve ever made?
Going to London.
229.What’s your favorite true story that you enjoy sharing with others?
I don’t tell my favorite story anymore.
230.Right now, at this moment, what do you want most?
I just wish things would make sense and be easy.
231.What are you waiting for? How are you writing your life’s story?
I’m not waiting. I’m writing it very slowly but not very deliberately.
232.What makes love last?
Communication and trust. At least, I assume so…
233.What good comes from suffering?
Humbleness.
234.What’s the most important lesson you’ve learned in the last year?
“you can’t always get what you want”
235.Based on your current daily actions and routines, where would you expect to be in five years?
I honestly don’t know.
236.What was your last major accomplishment?
Graduating college?
237.Through all of life’s twists and turns who has been there for you?
My family.
238.What or who has been distracting you?
People I’ve lost recently.
239.What are you looking forward to in the upcoming week?
A possible date…but I’m working so much, so I can’t really say that for certain.
240.Who is your mentor and what have you learned from them?
My former professor. I’ve learned everything from them. There is nothing off limits.
241.What are you uncertain about?
What am I certain about?
242.What do you think about when you lie awake in bed?
EVERYTHING!
243.What’s something most people don’t know about you?
Most people don’t know the story behind the tattoo on my back.
244.When you have a random hour of free time, what do you usually do?
It depends. My favorite thing is probably just to listen to music or read and take a bubble bath.
245.What makes you weird?
I pretty much never wear shoes unless I’m going somewhere in public. And I hate socks.
246.If you could relive yesterday what would you do differently?
Nothing.
247.What do you do over and over again that you hate doing?
I judge people way too much.
248.Would you rather your child be less attractive and extremely intelligent or extremely attractive and less intelligent?
I’d take what I could get.
249.What white lies do you often tell?
I’m bad at confrontation so I will pretend to not be upset sometimes when I am.
250.What is the biggest change you have made in your life in the last year?
I’ve decided what I want out of life and realized I deserve it.
Eh
159.How are you pursuing your dreams right now?
I’m applying for jobs…
160.What’s the next big step you need to take?
If I get the job I want, I’ll be moving! Yay!
161.If today was the last day of your life, would you want to do what you are about to do today?
Nope. Being in the ER isn't my dream day. And I'll probably lose my job because I don't of the time to be sick. yayyyy
162.If today was the last day of your life, who would you call and what would you tell them?
It doesn’t matter.
163.Who do you dream about?
Lots of people
164.What do you have trouble seeing clearly in your mind?
How my life will pan out.
165.What are you looking forward to?
June 4th!
166.What is the number one thing you want to accomplish before you die?
I want to be married and have kids.
167.When is love a weakness?
Hmmm… always? lol
168.What has been the most terrifying moment of your life thus far?
My brother’s car catching on fire
169.Who is the strongest person you know?
My mom
170.If you could take a single photograph of your life, what would it look like?
Monday, May 23, 2011
And I Can't Even
Give It Away
Cutting ties sucks... but thank God that George Strait can sing me through it. This blog would be incomplete without a little assistance from him.
Omission
Let's pretend
your
interests
never were mine.
Stack up the vinyl and
literature and bowl them
over
with our passion.
If we're being forward,
I'll say I don't care.
You'll say nothing, because
you are invisible.
And let's say I don't know
your smiling face
and you've never
noticed my sarcasm.
Let's say it for saying its sake.
Because
if we call
it what it is,
you'll take all
of it
away.
Let's say there are
no mannerisms in
anonymity. I will lie
about how I really don't care.
And you can pretend
you aren't listening to
every word.
You're not waiting to see
yourself in the pieces that
are left of me.
Let's pretend I can't
tell your punctuation from
the next man's ending.
Go ahead,
tell me,
tell me that I can't feel you
even through invisibility.
And I'll tell you I don't want to.
your
interests
never were mine.
Stack up the vinyl and
literature and bowl them
over
with our passion.
If we're being forward,
I'll say I don't care.
You'll say nothing, because
you are invisible.
And let's say I don't know
your smiling face
and you've never
noticed my sarcasm.
Let's say it for saying its sake.
Because
if we call
it what it is,
you'll take all
of it
away.
Let's say there are
no mannerisms in
anonymity. I will lie
about how I really don't care.
And you can pretend
you aren't listening to
every word.
You're not waiting to see
yourself in the pieces that
are left of me.
Let's pretend I can't
tell your punctuation from
the next man's ending.
Go ahead,
tell me,
tell me that I can't feel you
even through invisibility.
And I'll tell you I don't want to.
Debate
| Conversations are raging in my teeth. Enamel chips and flakes like words I want to say. My palate is coated by your abandonment, a bitterness that can't be licked away. My teeth are dueling consciences, that bite at theoretical cheeks. To talk to who is not listening or to eat my cheeks instead-- to swallow indigestible garbage or hide it beneath my tongue-- to talk to who won't hear me or to swallow what I want-- the debate is never won. |
Sunday, May 22, 2011
Your Love's Like Salt
it's not my fault
postsecret.com
Is it bad that I take postscret postcards as signs from God? Probably. Either way, I like feeling like there is some guidance. Even if it is only me being psychotic.
Ben Lee - Aftertaste http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ewb4HZpRv0I
Friday, May 20, 2011
Drop A Heart
I'm shocked that I've failed this song. After ridiculing everyone for strapping themselves to the FOB bandwagon in high school I actually listened to them and found, holy heck, I like 'em. This was a total theme song, cause, yeah, I usually am more than boys bargain for. But it is what it is. (Picking my favorite lyrics is near impossible... too much goodness going on in the lyrics)
Am I more than you bargained for yet
I've been dying to tell you anything you want to hear
Cause that's just who I am this week
Lie in the grass, next to the mausoleum
I'm just a notch in your bedpost
But you're just a line in a song
(A notch in your bedpost, but you're just a line in a song)
Drop a heart, break a name
We're always sleeping in, and sleeping for the wrong team
We're going down, down in an earlier round
And Sugar, we're going down swinging
I'll be your number one with a bullet
A loaded God complex, cock it and pull it
Is this more than you bargained for yet
Oh don't mind me I'm watching you two from the closet
Wishing to be the friction in your jeans
Isn't it messed up how I'm just dying to be him
I'm just a notch in your bedpost
But you're just a line in a song
(Notch in your bedpost, but you're just a line in a song)
101.What is your number one goal for the next six months?
To find a job.
102.Would you ever give up your life to save someone else?
Yeah, I probably would.
103.Are you happy with yourself?
In ways, yes. In others, no.
104.What is the meaning of ‘peace’ to you?
Peace is the equivalent of recognizing God to me. I’m always searching for it and it comes in pieces and wanes like the moon.
105.What are three moral rules you will never break?
Everything is circumstantial.
106.What does it mean to allow another person to truly love you?
I don’t know. I can’t say that this is my specialty. I honestly can’t come up with an answer.
107.Who or what do you think of when you think of love?
There are many types of love. God says to love. I love my family. I’m still in love with my ex. Life is a love story. I love reading in bed when it is raining outside. I wonder what true love looks like. etc.
108.If your life was a novel, what would be the title and how would your story end?
Push Hard; the struggle for luck, loyalty and love in everyday life.
Maybe it would end with a question? (Or an ellipsis in parenthesis….)
109.What would you not give up for $1,000,000 in cash?
My morals.
110.When do you feel most like yourself?
When I’m with someone I can share my soul with unabashedly.
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