One Tequila

She's Picking Ghost Flowers From Her Soul

You will know me by the scars I bare.

Defintely one of my top 5 favorites of Otep's. (Three of the others follow, couldn't get to the 5th) The intrumentals in this song are pretty hardcore.  Otep is a ridiculously  talented poet. She is opinionated and educated on those opinions. I don't agree with all she says, but I can surely respect her loyalty to her stance. She's pretty damn cool, I must say. Well, now it is off to work for 11.5 fun hours. Then, I'm going out with a friend for their birthday! Woo hoo! =]

Otep - Perfectly Flawed http://youtu.be/fmMsHGJcbis

Otep - Confrontation http://youtu.be/D79peD6i-rw

Otep - Home Grown http://youtu.be/P82kwYbPiLc

Stay

I'm feeling blue, and wanting to make any bad decision I can get my hands on =] But... I'm not gonna. (Or so I hope.) Don't know what to do to keep myself busy.

11. Do you think crying is a sign of weakness or strength?
A: Both.

12. What would you do differently if you knew nobody would judge you?
A: Probably have more tattoos and some piercings.

13. Do you celebrate the things you do have?
A:Not enough.

14. What is the difference between living and existing?
A: Being mindful of your existance rather than passive.

15. If not now, then when?
A: Probably never =[

16. Have you done anything lately worth remembering?
A: Yeah, I've been living. That has to be worth something, right?

17. What does your joy look like today?
A: A grain of sand?

18. Is it possible to lie without saying a word?
A: Oh, yeah. Maybe that is the worst lie told.

19. If you had a friend who spoke to you in the same way that you sometimes speak to yourself, how long would you allow this person to be your friend?
A: Not very!

20. Which activities make you lose track of time?
A: Blogging, listening to music, surfing the net, reading.... pretty much everything. I'm not much of a time-keeper.

21. If you had to teach something, what would you teach?
A: Hm... special ed. 4th or 5th grade?

22. What would you regret not fully doing, being or having in your life?
A: I'd regret never being a mother. I regret situations where I'm not myself or don't wear my heart on my sleeve. I'd be a hot mess if I didn't have the love of my family. When I lose people I regret it extremely deeply.

23. Are you holding onto something that you need to let go of?
A: Most definitely. I don't let go easily, which is a freakin' shame.

24. When you are 80-years-old, what will matter to you the most?
A: Love and family.

25. When is it time to stop calculating risk and rewards and just do what you know is right?
A: I really wish I knew. I'd like to say when there is a good chance that the reward will be more than the risk, but how does one ever measure that?

Here is the best music video you will ever see... It's the song of the night, enjoy! I'm off to watch a movie and hopefully fall asleep early.

http://youtu.be/zPG1n1B0Ydw

A Girl Can Hope

I'm Not In Love!!

I just want to be touched.

I just want your kiss boy, kiss boy,

I just want your kiss!

As much as I love me some Kate Nash, I need some new tunes for the gym. =]

Stop. Think. Lay Down. Stay. Good Boy!

I guess I'm obsessed with "thinking" as of late. I'm also obsessed with Tom Gabel of Against Me! who is  amazing in all of his tattooed, dreamy-eyed goodness. Gabel has a distinctive voice that I'm really quite partial to and I haven't heard an Against Me! song I didn't like. This one will get in your head, so consume with caution, boys and girls!

(Note: Against Me! is best when taken with a heavy dose of a vacation to Florida, where the band is from, and where I first discovered them!)

MOVING ON... 5 MORE Q & A's BEFORE WORK

6. What do you wish you spent more time doing five years ago?

A: Making and saving money so I didn't feel like I was catching up. Focusing more attention on finding a good mate to start a family with.

7. Do you ask enough questions or do you settle for what you know?

A: I ask a lot of questions, but fail to ask the important ones. I don't like to know the unpleasant stuff, and that is definitely a failure on my part.

8. Who do you love and what are you doing about it?

A: 1. Friends 2. Family 3. Someone I shouldn't. 1. I try to reach out and connect but I could be better at it. 2. I'm always there for my family, and I believe that we do a pretty good job of showing how much we care by spending time together. 3. Nothing "If your heart is broke, just let it be."

9. What’s a belief that you hold with which many people disagree?

A: I don't drink and drive. I disagree with affirmative action. I also believe that a person can have more than one religion.

10. What can you do today that you were not capable of a year ago?

A: I can finally hard-boil an egg or cook it over easy. Both didn't come easily! I'm also much better at telling people "no" than I've ever been. I can administer CPR or First Aid. I can check your vitals and blood pressure or restrain you if you try to get aggressive with me! (Or just because I feel like it ;)

You Better Think, Think!

http://www.marcandangel.com/2011/03/14/365-thought-provoking-questions-to-ask-yourself-this-year/

That is the link for the 365 questions I plan to answer. I'm thinking... maybe 5 a day? We will see. I haven't really checked 'em out yet. I didn't want to read them all because I don't liked ruined surprises. I'm a weirdo, I don't even read the backs of books or films... I just like to be surprised by things. Only good things. I guess I should have clarified. Anyways... here goes I suppose...

1. What was the last time you tried something new?
A: I suppose that doing the new design on my nails was the last "new" thing I've tried.

2. Who do you sometimes compare yourself to?
A: I compare myself to my siblings and peers a lot. I get really anxious when I do that, so I probably shouldn't.

3. What is the most sensible thing you've ever heard someone say?
A: "Love means to commit oneself without guarantee, to give oneself completely in the hope that our love will produce love in the loved person. Love is an act of faith, and whoever is of little faith is also of little love.” Eric Fromm is the person I should be quoting, but I don't know who that is. I heard it from someone else. There are a lot of quotes but this is the only one I can think of that was actually told to me by someone.

edit: after I wrote this last night I was laying in bed and thinking about it... and I totally forgot what my mother once told me and I found to be perfect advice... "Not everyone thinks like you, Erica." THAT is the most sensible thing I've heard. Go Mom!

4. What gets you excited about life?

A: Making a difference in other people. I really do live to make other people happy.

5. What life lessons did you learn the hard way?

A: how to get my heart broken--when to stand up for myself--when to shut up--the pros and cons of being the most stubborn person ever--friends are never forever--that I picked the wrong college--how disabling mental illness is--how to be my own person--that you can't force people to be alive if they don't want to--that life isn't fair--that nobody is going to love you if you don't let them.. should I go on? =] So uplifting!
(I know, my grammar is atrocious ;)

Okay, that is the first five! I'm lame and love deep thought and getting to know people's thoughts and interests. I'm no different with myself. I think it is very important to be opinionated. I'd rather ague with someone with an opinion than sit in silent ignorance with an "agreeable" schmuck.

Make This Right

Never worked for me but sure would look good on you
Been waiting all your life your wish is coming true
Bless your heart for beating me right out of you

Miss the misery

need a reason for a change
Need a reason to refrain
So turn it on again

One thing ex boyfriends are good for? MUSIC!! I fell in love with The Foo Fighters when I fell head over logic for some smooth-talkin-wanna-be-Kenny-Wayne-Shepard-greasy-hands-but-nice-enough-lookin boy. (With a truck, my God! a truck, I say!) I got pretty attached to them both with little to no resistance. Let's just say, I don't fall for boys that way anymore but music can get me hook, line, and sinker! All in all, I'm pretty appreciative that I'm not clueless about the Fighters any longer.

And here is how I was introduced to them. No wonder I fell for it! ;)

Foo Fighters - Everlong http://youtu.be/eBG7P-K-r1Y

Since You Took Your Love Away

Here is a super quick blog typed up between shifts, that I hope someone stumbles across and likes. Many people would probably give me some flack for being such a fan of this song, but, I just can't help myself! (I want you and nobody else...) Anyways, the lyrics, in case you don't know 'em already. (I posted the Sinead version, cause, well, I'm a girl...)

It's been seven hours and fifteen days
Since you took your love away
I go out every night and sleep all day
Since you took your love away
Since you been gone I can do whatever I want
I can see whomever I choose
I can eat my dinner in a fancy restaurant
But nothing
I said nothing can take away these blues

'Cause nothing compares
Nothing compares to you

It's been so lonely without you here
Like a bird without a song
Nothing can stop these lonely tears from falling
Tell me baby where did I go wrong
I could put my arms around every boy I see
But they'd only remind me of you

I went to the doctor and guess what he told me
Guess what he told me
He said girl you better try to have fun
No matter what you do
But he's a fool

 

Honestly, I love, love, love, Prince and I absoutely adore Sinead O's versiou of this song. I'll cry on cue... just turn it on and turn it up and I'll bawl like a baby. But, I'm totally digging this cover of "Nothing Compares 2 U" by The Last Royals".

http://youtu.be/iUiTQvT0W_0

post-shower nap

Queen of her day she shifts, snakes, sashays bare hips into creamy sheets. Damp strands wring themselves on bare shoulders, back, and cheeks. Her hips, they roll, dip, squish into a pillow-top mattress like an aggressive kiss. She basks under a cool, fresh, autumn kissed duvet. Spreading her legs (slow, wide) enough for the crisp covers to kiss the warmth of her wetness. She quivers, quakes, shakes a yawn from her breast. This is not sex. This is the Saturday romance we call independence. http://fav.me/d17n5j9



*

Best part?? They kinda match my shirt!! Second best part?? They're less terrible than the first try! Okay, now I promise to stop posting hand pics for a bit... it is getting kinda creepy I bet! Now, it is off to work. Later, I'm going to ponder ways to do at least SOMETHING from my bucket list! Perhaps, if it would ever stop raining, I would go horseback riding or camping. I haven't camped in... about 2 years! I should probably invest in a tent, eh?

Debate

Conversations are raging in my teeth.
Enamel chips and flakes like
words I want to say.
My palate is coated by your abandonment,
a bitterness that can't be licked away.
My teeth are dueling consciences,
that bite at theoretical cheeks.
To talk to who is not listening or
to eat my cheeks instead--
to swallow indigestible garbage
or hide it beneath my tongue--
to talk to who won't hear me
or to swallow what I want--
the debate is never won.

List Of Demands

I taped it to my heart,

I taped it to my heart.

Saul Williams = Awesome.

The Window

The Window

C.J. Hannah

Roy, Mother spoke softly,

her back to us as she washed

the supper's dishes. Dad

sat at the round oak table, reading.

Roy, I would so like a window here,

above the sink. It's so dark and no

amount of lighting seems to help.

Ummm, He mused, looking up

as if studying the problem.

Bad time of the year for that.

The first frost'll be here this week.

I looked at the wall wondering what

mother wanted to see out her window...

the peach orchard, now autumn barren,

and a mile away above the orchards,

the book cliffs looming

like monstrous battleships.

In Spring she'd see pink blossoms,

fragrant clouds caught in the branches,

in Summer dark green leaves curling

finger-like 'round the swelling fruit,

and in fall, along the canal,

cottonwoods exploding into a yellow

so bright it hurts the eyes.

Spring eases into summer,

the peaches ripened

from almond size

to that of baseballs.

Dad came in for lunch one day

and stopped, stunned,

just inside the door. A faint cloud of

white dust drifted in the air, and a

smell of wood long hidden from the sun.

Mother stood near the sink, staring sharp eyed

at him, as he stared at

the hole smashed in the wall

above the sink, dripping white chunks

of plaster and laths.

A gentle, warm breeze blew down the canyon

and through the hole

filling the kitchen with

the smell of ripening peaches.

Mother pointed to the ragged hole.

That is where I want the window.

This is one of my very favorite poems. I recited it when I was a Junior from memory, and I'm a little sad to say that I don't still know it by heart. It is a beautiful piece! I'm envious of Hannah's simple elegance and gift of imagery.

Free Love Day

http://news.deviantart.com/article/142601/

http://www.facebook.com/home.php#!/event.php?eid=124403477616461&index=1

When the Sun Comes Up

I'll be gone

Who can argue with a cute girl named Jo Jo?

Golden

Today was a great day off! I went to church with the grandparents, which was nice. Then it was time for the Easter egg hunt!! My mom is the best, she organized a color-coded egg hunt for my nieces and nephew so that they all got the same amount. The kids played very fair and it was a blast. Except when I spotted a little snake! I flipped my lid and literally ran to a neighbor's house... yeah, it was that serious. And my gross brother picked it up and I ran further because he has a history of chasing us. The best part?? The kids were the only ones other than my brother and father who didn't scatter to different lawns. =] After that adventure, my adorable mom had arranged an Easter egg hunt for all of her kids. You would have to know us to realize what a cut-throat event this was. She did NOT divvy up the eggs like with the little kids. She DID hide a special "golden egg" though. My brother and sister are the biggest cheaters ever, and before mom counted down we ran off. My brother's poor girlfriend was left in the dust. But, alas, she got the golden egg. There was a whole lot of stealing and shoving going on but it was a blast. And only one basket was broken in the hub-bub! Anyways, it was a good Easter. I can't wait to bring a kid into this family. It is a pretty awesome one, I gotta say.

I also attempted to water marble my nails... oh boy, this took forever and I didn't do a stellar job... but I'm determined to try it again. It was WAY hard and VERY messy! They're okay from far away though. =] I totally stepped on a toothpick afterwards and pulling it out was pretty heinous, but it was an otherwise great day.. so I can't complain.

Picture Perfect Memories

As I love to tell people, this song is responsible for 70% of bad things that happen after midnight.

Alternately, I've been trying to "quit drinking" but so far, no go. It might eventually go on the list if I can get enough brains to figure out what is good for me. I know drinking isn't my friend, but wow is it hard not to! =p

Recyled Balloons

He says love songs are recyclable.
I think they're disposable;
one use each
and they're trash.
He builds a room in his
chest for each lover.
As for me? Every man is a chamber
in an elastic heart.
I take in lovers like puffs of hot breath.
I beg each to fill me and they swell
inside of me. And even when I feel full,
I'm mostly empty.

The man with one room, just for me, breathes
deep and releases inside of me.
He inhales -- but I protest.
Feeling utter fullness in my breasts.
"But I want a love that overflows."
He murmurs into my chest.
His steamy breath forcing against
the last chamber I have left. Something tight
squeaks and he gets up to leave.

I'm looking at a room someone else built for me.
I can hear a headboard banging in a chamber
to my left and my sternum starts to wheeze.

My heart is a balloon-like vessel.
I hear it hiss and pucker at night.
Sometimes I see bubbles pop-popping
when I submerge in deep water.
"Damn," I think. Knowing that some part
of me is wrinkled and dying. I turn on some
recycled tune that makes me think of
tasting an architect's kiss. I shake my head,
caress my lips, and lay back on bedsheets
bought by an environmentalist. I imagine
what I must look like with residue from so
few lovers choking me up and draining me dead.
At least I'm not stupid, I think. And at least I know.
I am no candidate for a transplant. I am much too resistant.

http://youtu.be/aHx4BlF6V2o
Happy Earth Day!

Happy Earth Day!

For those who don't have to work, enjoy Earth Day.

http://earthday2011.org/

Mouthful

Each taste bud is an
empty pedestal
for a doubt.
Collectively, they're
parched displays parading
remembered kisses.

Maybe my mouth is
only full of lies.
It says something about
how once or twice a kiss
was shared somewhere.

It mumbles half memories
about airports and foreign cities.
But, I can't be sure.

Dusty pedestals litter my mouth.
I roll them together,
tasting for evidence of
a past that may
(or may not)
exist.
I can't be sure.

I Need You Back

Pathetic. True.

April Showers

Image via http://www.postsecret.com/

Today is a pretty rough one in my neck of the woods. It marks 3 years since my neighbor/brother/best friend killed himself due to depression caused by a drug addiction. It is always hard to be real with yourself about life issues of this magnatude, but I'm learning to try. People leave you in so many ways, and many of them aren't your choice. Suicide is (by far) the most difficult loss to cope with. Some days you blame them, others you blame yourself. One day you can think of them and smile and laugh, and the next you burst into tears without a definite reason. I'm not quite sure how I'm feeling today. Sad, I guess. And afraid for others in my life that I love. I'm also happy that I had such a wonderful person in my life who shaped me in ways that are undeniable. Growing up with someone to share my hopes, dreams, and fears with was so very important. Dating was more of a challenge with such a protective male around, but he certainly kept the creepers away and warned me of the no-gooders. As a friend, he was my mechanic, my "pool boy" and the only pit crew I ever wanted. He is certainly loved and missed, especially on this dreary April day.

Hell Yeah - Thank You http://youtu.be/jiveL3VfglM

Drug use is a very serious issue. It is easy to judge and point a finger and say "I'd never do something like that." Really, you might already do something "like" drugs. Maybe you smoke, or gamble, or overeat, or maybe you clean too much and just can't stop yourself. Drugs and alcohol are just less acceptable forms of a greater problem called addiction.  It is so important to get help before you get to the breaking point and can no longer cope. http://24houraddictionhelp.org/

Depression exists. If you need help, get help. I know that it is so much easier said than done. I really realize how preachy this sounds. But it is just so important. It helps the depressed person as well as their loved ones. http://www.depressionsupporthelp.com/

Most of all, it is important to support friends and loved ones through life's trials, even when you're upset, be supportive. Regret is an ugly word, add a death to the equation and it can be unbearable. If you're concerned about a person, don't give up on them. It is likely that they have already given up on themselves.

www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/

Say My Stupid Name

Broke out the Ipod today for the first time in forever... My favorite warm-up song. It is soft and mellow but pretty punchy. I debated between posting this one and "F-cking Boyfriend" which is also by The Bird and the Bee. But, alas, this one wins just by a hair... And now, the honorary lyrics...

say my name, say my name, say my stupid name

it's stupid how we always seem to do it again

oh, oh

it's so stupid and perfect and stupid and perfect

I hate you. I want you.

I hate you

I hate you

oh oh

again, again, again

again

Completely switching to mid-workout music now, I really want to share these peppy type tunes that are completely irresistible to me. I'm not much for pop, but oh, I can't help it! Guilty Pleasures? Yep.

Warning : Explicit lyrics to follow... I'm just not a fan of censoring for the most part. Sorry, Charlie.

Kaci Battaglia - Crazy Possessive http://youtu.be/CgffLGurp1Y

Cobra Starship - Hot Mess http://youtu.be/AXBFun0ijYQ

Ben Folds (Ft. Regina Spektor) - You Don't Know Me http://youtu.be/UskSU5BoyZs



Okay, now for the cool down factor. You may have to just google the lyrics because my initial google search didn't find any justifying videos or audio clips for them. I know, bums me out too... but I already know the awesomeness of both of these by heart. =] 

Gasoline Heart - Steam (A Well Dried Up) 

Blake Shelton - Good at Startin' Fires



Diving Bell and the Butterfly

For the most part I've just been slowly adding books I've read to my list without much comment. However, I've recently finished "The Diving Bell and the Butterfly" by Jean - Dominque Bauby and it deserves being shared. It is an amazing and insigtful book written by a brilliant man suffering from "Locked-In Syndrome" after having a stroke. Instead of writing my own description I'm going to add a link. Check it out if you're looking for a book to touch the soul.

http://www.amazon.com/Diving-Bell-Butterfly-Memoir-Death/dp/0375701214

Are You Still Mine?

This is the highlight of my Record Store Day purchase. And I'm certainly not complaining! I love "Unchained Melody" and haven't heard a version I didn't adore. I feel as though I like very few "typically" appreciated love songs. This, however, is one that just can't be denied. In addition, Boots Randolph puts me in a very romantic and melancholy mood. The pairing is soul crushing in a soothing way. That being said, it is time to light the candles and draw some bath water (and grab a new book from the shelf) and relax!

Ready for the Rougher Stuff

I'm so excited to report that I got to check off another thing on my list. "Go to a Concert" was pretty general...but I hadn't been to a big one in quite awhile. What a way to blow it off the list. Elton John was AH-mazing. I am fully kicking myself for my under-appreciation of him. Honestly, one of the most fun I've ever had at a concert and I was sitting with strangers for half of it! For the other half I joined my friends at a closer proximity to the action. I have cell phone pics that I eventually want to add to this blog.... eventually could take quite awhile though.

Now for the details! I'm not sure what was more amazing, him or the fans. It was a big, huge, amazing, Love fest. (With a capital "L") He played for 3 hours. His band was fantastic. They were as fun to watch as Elton was. He played every classic I could think of and 5 new songs. "Hey, Ahab" was certainly my favorite of the fresh tunes. But hey, can you blame a literature-loving-music-loving Midwestern girl for a natural attraction? As for the classics, I literally cried (cause of personal reason and just being touched) when he sang "Guess That's Why They Call It the Blues". Tiny Dancer has always been my personal favorite, but after the show... oh, I dunno! There was much fun to be had. I've never danced so much at a concert before, and I (being me) loved it! Between "Crocodile Rock" and "Benny and The Jets" we were literally dancing in the aisles and absolutely nobody cared! (As much as I love BRC, maybe EJ really does have the best fans ever... that's only a maybe.) Regardless, I had an amazing time and have definitively decided not to marry until I find a man who can go to concerts and have as much fun as me. =] And trust me, I am quite a handful, especially at concerts!


Elton John - Hey Ahab http://youtu.be/yLkaMGnwi_g
(Killer background singers! They were as soulful and talented as Elton and his band!)

I can't love, shot full of holes
Don't feel nothing, I just feel cold
Don't feel nothing, just old scars
Toughening up around my heart

But I want love, just a different kind
I want love, won't break me down
Won't brick me up, won't fence me in
I want a love, that don't mean a thing
That's the love I want, I want love

I want love on my own terms
After everything I've ever learned
Me, I carry too much baggage
Oh man I've seen so much traffic

So bring it on, I've been bruised
Don't give me love that's clean and smooth
I'm ready for the rougher stuff
No sweet romance, I've had enough

I've never been one for the sweet romance. I guess I'm just not built for being sweet. I'll willingly admit that I'm totally faulty in matters of the heart. Oh, Elton, thanks for getting me!

P.S. This is my 50th post. Which just proves I type as much as I talk. Which is way too much!

Tiny Dancer?

Exciting news! I'm going to go see Elton John in concert for free! Woo Hoo!

Lost but Now I Found You

Yesterday was certainly interesting! Work was more stressful than usual but I also had some fun. =] We had The Beatles blaring as usual and we had a "karaoke" day, so I got some music into my morning/afternoon. I got off and immediately went home to check the fluids in my car so I could go to a record store out of town. Other than an almost huge mistake (what's the difference between coolant and transmission fluid anyways?! ;) we were off and running around six o'clock.

But OH, wait! Good ole googlemaps couldn't be trusted apparently! We ended up in a different city. So we stopped at Taco Johns (which I must say, was a bit of a heavenly detour) and asked for some re-direction. On our way to our original destination, I spotted a record store! Go me! Except... they were completely picked over of Record Store Day items. I mean, not one thing was left. I did dig through their used, but only found one worth having.

Onward and upward, we continued on our journey. When we finally got to our original destination (which was nowhere near where googlemaps had told us it would be) I fell in love with the store.... or maybe just the cute guy who talked to me about the Fleetwood Mac, Sharon Jones, The Budos Band, and Daptone in general... either way, they had some stuff left over, but none in any of my many interests.

Moral of the story? I only got one record on Record Store Day. I had a great time though. I love adventures =]

Stupid Boy

Posting a little Keith Urban in response to an anon comment on another post. (For the record, some girls are pretty darn stupid too.)

On another note, I'm thinking about taking a trip to the city tomorrow after work! It will be a long day, so we will see. I'm getting pretty darn depressed with all the emails, fb updates, and blog notifications about all of the great Record Store Day events I'm missing. It just isn't fair!! I don't think I took advantage of the holiday last year. This year I'm all about it but don't know if I'll be able to celebrate. GO FIGURE! Anyways, I finally found one store around me that is open late enough and celebrating... time will tell! For those of you who have the day off, live it up! Buy a record or two for me ;)

On Your Knees Boy

I had a very interesting conversation about love and sex and the like with a friend today. He had a lot to say that got me thinking. It seems for every person in the world there is a different view on "love" and all that it entails. Yet, flip that coin, and everyone seems to be able to say "I've been there before" when you're talking about the finer points of the subject. It is so strange that we are all so similar and yet so different. Sometimes I feel like I get guy world better than girl world. No clue why that is... even so, it doesn't seem to help me much! =] Boys are so confusing... hell, men are worse than boys! Either way... a song!



You've been living underground
Eating from a can
You've been running away
From what you don't understand...
Love

She's slippy
You're sliding down
She'll be there when you hit the ground

It's alright, it's alright, it's alright
She moves in mysterious ways
It's alright, it's alright, it's alright
She moves in mysterious ways

Johnny take a dive with your sister in the rain
Let her talk about the things you can't explain
To touch is to heal
To hurt is to steal
If you want to kiss the sky
Better learn how to kneel

(on your knees boy)

Also, I put in an application for next year. Cross your fingers for me cause I want it bad! DEEP SIGH. Whatever God wants, right?!

Is it Monday yet?

I'm exhausted! This week has been soooo long already! I don't think it helped that I acted like a frat boy over the weekend. I've got much to do and much that I've been doing for others. I'm hoping to get in some fishing sometime soon with a new friend of mine =] I'm also going to buy a bike toward the end of this month... but oh. my. goodness. there are a lot of types/styles out there! I'm gonna hafta do some serious research on this purchase because I'm completely ignorant to the subjects of bicycles! I'm also trying to get a "planting party" day going on April 22nd with my residents. We will see what happens with that. =] I'm still sad about missing out on the anniversary party going on in Chi town this weekend. =[ Maybe I'll find another way to celebrate Record Store Day.... or maybe I'll just abstain from music for the whole weekend to express my moody discontent.... No songs tonight, I'm just to tired for all of that! But I'm never too tired for a warm bath and then a little reading under the covers. Yum! =]

Use the net for good!!

http://www.wfp.org/1billion

Guess It's Only Right

That I got my heart robbed

Take My Hand

You're sick of feeling numb
You're not the only one
I'll take you by the hand
And I'll show you a world that you can understand

This life is filled with hurt
When happiness doesn't work
Trust me and take my hand
When the lights go out you will understand

Pain, without love
Pain, I can't get enough
Pain, I like it rough
'Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all

I know, I know that you're wounded
You know, you know that I'm here to save you
You know, you know I'm always here for you
I know, I know that you'll thank me later

HOOKED. line. sinker.

I gotta say... This man is a makin' me melt.

Aching

Lines on a Sheet

She folds on herself,
White like linen, in the wind, on a line.
Unborn before
the downpour.

Then she is soaked,
bundled and knotted in herself. Awry on the line.
She is a balled fetus;
fighting her own escape.

The added weight of water
pulls. Desperate clothespins clutch flesh - she tears in the wind.
Aching cord snaps,
like birth.

She folds onto herself;
small, like linen, in the wind
tangled and dangling
limp on a
line.

This is a slightly altered version of a poem from my portfolio from 2008.

So Frustrating

I can't help but like T. Swift. It's a curse! 

whiskey

http://youtu.be/IZbN_nmxAGk

drunk as hell... this is a great song. thats pretyy much all i got. love sucks. the end. whiskkey = good. love = bad.

Shell

Shell  

once upon a time he came across a connect the dot body a frame made entirely from intersecting kisses that cobwebs had licked away once upon a time she was a shell for you to fill in but you're an artist whose paintbrush has dried out yet there were times when you'd spider crawl in adjacent lines starting at an ankle and ending at her cold temple one image done by talent's hand the other begun with your tongue but this time in one slow deliberate curve up from a sole of a foot your tongue a rasp on a twin ankle filling the girl in kiss- licking rest stops on the way calve to freckle and thigh to cheek once upon a time maybe he could imagine the beauty in a carcass a hull of an image he'd paint but forget This is mine so please don't steal any part of it. It has a copyright anways, but still. Stealing things from poor people isn't very nice. =]

Long Distance Lover

The Quiet World
by Jeffrey McDaniel

In an effort to get people to look
into each other’s eyes more,
the government has decided to allot
each person exactly one hundred
and sixty-seven words, per day.
When the phone rings, I put it
to my ear without saying hello.
In the restaurant I point
at chicken noodle soup. I am
adjusting well to the new way.
Late at night, I call my long
distance lover and proudly say
I only used fifty-nine today.
I saved the rest for you.
When she doesn’t respond, I know
she’s used up all her words
so I slowly whisper I love you,
thirty-two and a third times.
After that, we just sit on the line
and listen to each other breathe.


I was going through some old emails last night / this morning and I found this poem I had sent somebody. I think it is beautiful. =] Along that note, a song...

The Little River Band - Happy Anniversary http://youtu.be/y2Dna8dffc4



Make It Go Away

(If you're sleeping are you dreaming
If you're dreaming are you dreaming of me?
I can't believe you actually picked me.)

I have to block out thoughts of you so I don’t lose my head
They crawl in like a cockroach leaving babies in my bed
Dropping little reels of tape to remind me that I’m alone
Playing movies in my head that make a porno feel like home
There's a burning in my pride, a nervous bleeding in my brain
An ounce of peace is all I want for you. Will you never call again?
And will you never say that you love me just to put it in my face?
And will you never try to reach me?
It is I that wanted space

Hate me today
Hate me tomorrow
Hate me for all the things I didn't do for you

Hate me in ways
Yeah ways hard to swallow
Hate me so you can finally see what’s good for you

I’m sober now for 3 whole months it’s one accomplishment that you helped me with
The one thing that always tore us apart is the one thing I won’t touch again
In a sick way I want to thank you for holding my head up late at night
While I was busy waging wars on myself, you were trying to stop the fight
You never doubted my warped opinions on things like suicidal hate
You made me compliment myself when it was way too hard to take
So I’ll drive so fucking far away that I never cross your mind
And do whatever it takes in your heart to leave me behind
Hate me today
Hate me tomorrow
Hate me for all the things I didn’t do for you

Hate me in ways
Yeah ways hard to swallow
Hate me so you can finally see what’s good for you

And with a sad heart I say bye to you and wave
Kicking shadows on the street for every mistake that I had made
And like a baby boy I never was a man
Until I saw your blue eyes cry and I held your face in my hand
And then I fell down yelling “Make it go away!”
Just make a smile come back and shine just like it used to be
And then she whispered “How can you do this to me?”
Hate me today
Hate me tomorrow
Hate me for all the things I didn’t do for you

Hate me in ways
Yeah ways hard to swallow
Hate me so you can finally see what’s good for you
For you
For you
For you

Dance in the Kitchen

Okay, I promise, last shameless (not so) hidden agenda video of the day! (Gotta work in an hour anyways ;) Heidi Newfield was the one female member of that really popular, and spunky, group called Trick Pony. Yeah, I bet that rings a bell! I loved them when they were a group, but I'll admit I wasn't as keen on her for some reason. However, since she has went solo I've definitely changed my tune. She's got a nice rasp to her voice and I generally really love the content of her songs. Maybe you will too?

 

Ain't Sorry

This is exactly why I love Canadian Country! Watch it Shania, this girl has got something to offer!

Here is Kennedy's webpage if you like what you hear. http://www.tonyakennedy.com/

And hold the freaking phone! It sounds like Carolyn Dawn Johnson is coming back on the scene. God, Buddah, and Democracy IS alive! (Well, the last could be argued, just not by me.) Anyways, she is so amazing. You've gotta click the link if you have any intrest in pretty vocals from pretty girls.


Carolyn Dawn Johnson - Stop For Me http://youtu.be/FnB4q9VsDPA

Turn Off the TV… and READ!

Turn Off the TV… and READ! One of the few good things April has to offer! =]

The Only Thing I Want To Do

Really happy, yes, slightly cheesy, but sweet song coming your way. Are you ready for it?! Today was a beautiful day!

And Fleetwood Mac is SO good for the soul! It tops off any beautiful day! I wish I was smart enough to be able to transfer songs from vinyl to digital, but I'm not =[ So, as always, just youtube the song by clicking the link if you want to hear the song.

 Fleetwood Mac - Over My Head http://youtu.be/DDx-YAjpa9E

You can take me to paradise,
And then again you can be cold as ice
I'm over my head,
But it sure feels nice.

You can take me anytime you like,
I'll be around if you think you might

love me baby,
And hold me tight.





Also, Earth Day is on April 22 and I want to plant a tree! I think I will! Just gotta figure out where to put it!

A Man Among Men

I'm pretty sad to report that my new favorite country band has long been disbanded. The Notorious Cherry Bombs (former just "The Cherry Bombs) are no longer. I'm not really one for too much Vince Gill, but in band form, he's pretty darn awesome. Rodney Crowell is the other lead singer of the only album they've recorded. I've got it blaring in the kitchen as we speak and I'm enjoying the piano and steele concotion they've got going on.

It's Hard to Kiss the Lips at Night That Chews Your Ass Out All Day Long

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pjkLf_X88WM



As you can probably guess, it is a funny song. But in no way is it really my favorite of the album.

These are a better representation :

Wait a Minute http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DGd8H1Rgkhw

(I posted the video just so you can hear the voice and get the vibe... it isn't official or anything)

Making Memories of Us - Unfortunately, I couldn't locate their version online. But, yes, it is the same song that Tracy Byrd sang originally and Keith Urban did a cover of. The Notorious Cherry Bombs covered it on their reunion album in 2004. The lyrics are good no matter who sings them!

I wanna sleep with you forver

I wanna die in your arms

in a cabin by a meadow

where the wild bees swarm

I'm gonna love you

like nobody loves you

I'll win your trust

making memories of us

Local folks better VOTE

Well, Butler had an EPIC loss last night. No, really, they literally made history with how bad they played. Whatever Connecticut, you may have won, but nobody likes you! =p Anyway, March Madness turned into April Sadness for me and the gang.

I took a 109 question IQ test last night only to be denied most of my results. What a bummer!! Sometime (maybe tonight) I'm gonna have to see if I can find one with actual results!

I also need to take the GRE so I can start applying to some grad schools! The search is on! =] The one I really have my eye on doesn't have an application fee, which is great news. However, I dunno that I'm gonna be able to get in. My college years weren't terrible, but they weren't the best either. So we shall see. Deep breathes! Time to get my stuff together, and I can't wait!

For now, off for a walk to enjoy my one day off this week. Might even take the puppy with! After that, it is too the polls. My biggest pet peeve is that of the people complaining about the different levels of government, so few of them actually vote. It is completely nonsensical. I've been flooding my facebook with urges to vote, and here it is no difference. If you don't try to change things, how can you complain about what is being done?

VOTE

Wanted: tough lover (Yeah, Yeah, Yeah)

Okay, no offense to X-tina or Christina or whatever she's calling herself these days, but it is highly shameful that so few people know that "Tough Lover" isn't some original tune done just for the movie, Burlesque. That is correct, boys and girls, this isn't a product of our generation. I know, bummer. Now that so many people have seen the movie I keep hearing people praising it as a product of the film and it is irritating the heck out of me! I don't condon violence, but sometimes I do want to punch people (mostly people my age) that are oblivious to such wonderful music. =] Just kidding... kinda. Anyways, there is a link below. Enjoy! 

Also, I think that Christina is pretty amazing vocally and I have nothing against her. She does the song some serious justice, in my opinion! I could listen to that girl sing any tune she wants. Also, I loved the soundtrack for the film.

Need it. Fake it.

Well, despite losing my timecard, watching BOTH my teams lose, and having a family friend die yesterday... uh, it was a pretty good day. I mean that. My schedule is a little out of wack right now but once it settles down I think I might even get some time to do some fun stuff!

P.S. I really hope Connecticut loses Monday. (And I think they just might!) Nobody likes them anyways! =p Go Butler...I guess.

This song is seriously haunting me. I just cannot get it to go away. For the past three days I've had it in my head. Especially the "I won't hurt you" part. I love the song but would appreciate it if I could stop thinking of it.

Need it

fake it,

you can't complicate it,

it's love
Often you call me so distant and lonely,

it's love
My hands are shaking

my hearts rearranging

it's love
If you need me to say it,

I need you to say it
I know I won't,

I said I won't,

you know I won't hurt you
Weightless you drift in the emptiness lifting above. Once you did call him now you call to this love. You stand in the evening and speak to me leaving alone. You sing to the winter's sorrowed and fleeting tone. I know I won't, I said I won't, you know I won't hurt you.

 

Keegan Dewitt - Complicated

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R8C0kISrViw

Desperation

I'm up to 16 / 25 books! And the last one was nice and long! I'll probably start a new one tonight... but with the new schedule it could be quite awhile before I finish it up! Anyway, I still need to take my nightly bath and put myself to bed. But, in reference to "Desperation" feel free to youtube Miranda Lambert's - Desperation. This song belongs here in my life right now. So I'm pretty happy I remembered it. Thanks God, good point!

Throw a dog a bone

I'll take it if I have to
Go real fast like there's somewhere we can get to
Whats the use in standin' right there on the edge
if there ain't nowhere to fall
whats the use in hangin on tight to the phone

 if nobody might call

Desperation
There's danger in frustration
complicated words slippin' off of your tongue

and ain't one of them the truth
I'm still desperate for you.

Tell it like a lie

 live it like a movie
Give a heart away like it don't mean nothin' to me
whats the use in makin' all the plans that we made
if you weren't gonna go
whats the use in slappin on a smile for a face
if your eyes don't wanna showDesperation
There's danger in frustration
complicated words slippin' off of your tongue

and ain't one of them the truth
I'm still desperate for you.

Well it's too damn bad you didn't have a chance
to make me your best friend
you were too caught up in givin' too much up
and not doin' what you should have been

Desperation
There's danger in frustration
complicated words slippin' off of your tongue

 and ain't one of them the truth
I'm

still

desperate

 for you.

Also, I've been FORCED to watch basketball! And I must say, tomorrow I'll be all about VCU and Kentucky! And by forced, I mean I've happily been exposed to a new sport out of my element! Thank goodness I work tomorrow a.m. and have the p.m. off! WoO HoO!

Hot as a Fever

This is one of my favorite radio discoveries within the last few years. It is just too cool for school. Uh, literally. A friend of mine has it as my ringtone (and I'm not gonna lie,) it makes me feel too cool!

That's really all I have for right now because blogger is being too frustrating to deal with. =] (Pretend this left aligned because it won't let me do it. k? thx)